Station Manager

It has been a long time since I posted on my blog. Many of my friends and readers asked me why I was not writing. Though blogging is one of my hobbies, of late, my professional responsibilities are demanding more time than earlier. However, today I found some time to scribble down this post - which is unique and interesting. I am writing this sitting inside a train!!

I am travelling alone from Kochuveli, near Thiruvananthapuram to Kochi by train. I boarded the train at 6 pm and I am expecting to reach Kochi by 10 pm - completely free and relaxed for four hours.But, before boarding the train, I had a Bollywood movie style adventure. I came to the railway station by my uncle's car. About 2 kilometers before the station we saw a long queue of vehicles stuck in a traffic jam. I have been travelling from Kochuveli for more than a decade and never in the past have I encountered a traffic jam like this. Kochuveli station is very close to the Lulu Mall of Thiruvananthapuram. And today's jam was caused by people thronging the mall for Onam shopping - a 'mallinduced' jam !!

With great difficulty my uncle managed to escape the Lulu mall junction and turn the car towards the small road leading to the railway station. It was 5.50 pm and we were thinking we would reach on time. But, after driving for half a kilometer, we were shocked to see another long queue of vehicles. We were almost near the station, yet not there. It was 5.55, I quickly got down from the car, picked my bag and ran towards the station. While running I was praying that the train was from the first platform, so that I don't have to climb the foot overbridge. When I reached close to the station, I saw the train on the first platform. It was a great relief. I got into the train at exactly 6.00 pm. And as soon as I got in - no, the whistle didn't blow and the train didn't move... It pulled out of the platform at 6.15 pm..

As the train started moving, I bought a cup of steaming hot coffee. I was wondering how to use the four hours at my disposal. I am sure the coffee kindled a spark of creativity - I started writing this blog. It is not easy to write in a running train, but I am enjoying it.

When I travel during the day, I keep looking out through the window - the greenery of Kerala is something that I can't see anywhere else. The all pervading greenery doesn't leave even a small space empty. Through the years of my journeys across Kerala, though I have noticed large constructions on both sides of the rail, the greenery has still remained noticeable. Added to the greenery is the beauty of lakes, rivers and small streams that make the view pleasant. Today I am deprived of this beauty as I am travelling after sunset.

The train stopped at Kollam - let me get something for dinner. Kollam is my mother's place - she was born and brought up there. During my school day I used to spend my summer vacation at her house. Today my uncle and family live there. Sometimes, I yearn to escape from my busy life and go back to those joyful days of an innocent boy.

I am back on the train with a pack of Chappathi and curry.  After eating Chappathi, I started gazing through the window. The train is moving very fast, passing through some small stations, which disappear quickly from our view. I can see lights in small houses on the sides of the track. Some lights are seen far away - perhaps in the middle of paddy fields. 

The filled stomach and cool breeze made me doze off for a while. A sudden jerk and I got up. The train was still running fast.

I started thinking about the people travelling by train - people speaking different languages, coming from different places, headed to different destinations, for different purposes, some happy, some sad, some anxious and some others irritated! Still they are all moving together - in the same direction, with the same speed, and on the same track. Whether moving fast or slow, they all must be on track!

A station manager standing in an intermittent station showing green signal caught my attention.  Suddenly I drew parallel with my life. I (a teacher) am like that station manager. Every year a new train carrying 120 passengers (students) arrives at my station (college). They are all from different backgrounds, planning to lead different lives, yet destined to come together on a train (MBA programme) for a journey of two years. My job is to show them the green signal (right direction) and make sure that they stay on track (focus). When a train moves out of the station, I wait for the next one to arrive.

Alfred Tennyson's poetry, the brook, rang in my mind...  'Men (students) may come and men may go, but I (the teacher) go on forever...'

The train left Kottayam, I will get down at Ernakulam, the next station. Thanks for being my co-passengers in this beautiful journey..!

First Food

No, there is no mistake, you read it correctly – it is not fast food, it is ‘first food’! Food is something that we all enjoy, especially when it comes to our favourite recipes.  But if I ask you, when did you first taste a particular food item, it may be difficult to remember.  However, in the case of some food items, we would clearly remember when we had it first, with whom, where and on what occasion.  Let me recollect a few such ‘first food’ memories!

When I was in lower primary school, my uncle who was working for a bank, came to Kochi on an official visit.  He was staying at Hotel Woodlands at Ernakulam.  One evening, we visited him in the hotel, and he took us to the restaurant.  That was my first visit to the restaurant of a star hotel.  He ordered ‘chana batura’ for me.  I didn’t know what it was.  In a few minutes, when it appeared in front of me, it looked like a big poori – much bigger than a usual poori.  The hot air escaped when I poked my finger into the piping hot batura.  The delicious batura with chana tickled my taste buds.

In early 1980s, when Nestle launched Maggi in India, noodles were new to most of the Indians. Since my parents were a bit conservative in their food habits, they never tried noodles.  One day when my mother’s sister, who used to try new food items, visited us.  I asked her, ‘what is this Maggi, how does it taste?’.  She said, ‘oh you haven’t eaten it? I will make it for you’.  That evening she brought Maggi and prepared it in our kitchen.  I remember leaning over the gas stove to see how she prepared it.  In appearance, it resembled a popular Kerala breakfast item – Idiyappam, but the taste was totally different.  I am not sure about the taste, but one thing that has remained more or less the same with Maggi over the last forty years is its packing.

In January 1997 a conference on grassroot level innovation was organised by IIM Ahmedabad.  A newsletter brought out on that occasion was named ‘Undhiyu’.  When I asked someone what Undhiyu meant, he said it was a Gujarati dish prepared during Makar Sankranti (called Uttarayan in Gujarat).  Sankranti was just a few days away and I decided that I must taste Undhiyu.  On Sankranti, one of my friends offered me Undhiyu with poori.  Undhiyu goes well with poori.  I was told, traditionally Undhiyu was cooked in earthen pots kept upside down underground.  Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed the taste of Undhiyu. 

Raghunath was my student at SIT during 1999-2001.  He was an engineering graduate, who joined the MBA programme after working for a few years.  So, my relationship with him was not just that of a student and a teacher, but more of a friendship.  Once we travelled together to Bangalore.  He asked me, ‘shall we have pizza?’, I told him, ‘I have never tasted a pizza’. He said, ‘then we must have it today’.  He took me to a pizza outlet on Brigade Road. Though I enjoyed it, somehow pizza did not find a place in my favourite food list.  That is why, in spite of having a popular pizza outlet at a stone’s throw from my house at Tumkur, I never ordered one!

The good thing about such memories is that they bring back the taste in your mind, especially if you have enjoyed the ‘first food’ experience.  I am sure you too have such memories.  Relish your ‘first food’ memories – let them tickle your taste buds!

Drive-In

It was just about a month since I had moved to Ahmedabad.  One weekend my roommates decided to go for a movie.  I was expecting to watch a movie in a normal theatre.  But when we were about to leave in the evening, they told me ‘We are going to the Drive-In theatre’.  That was the first time I heard about a drive-in theatre.  I asked them what a drive-in theatre is.  They said, ‘wait, you will see when we reach there!’

In a short while we reached the place.  When we entered the premises, I was really surprised and excited too.  It was an open-air theatre located in a huge ground with a big screen on one side and space for parking of hundreds of cars on the other side.  In front of the space for cars, there were a few rows of concrete seats, for people to sit and watch the movie.  Since we had reached the place before sunset, I had enough time to move around and see the entire place.  There was a food court in the centre and a beautiful garden in front of the wide screen.  Opposite the screen, behind the car park, was a building that housed the projector room, from where the movie was projected to the screen.  Many small speakers were placed at an equal distance through which people could hear the sound.  So, people could drive in their cars, park them facing the screen and watch the movie sitting in the car.  They could hear the dialogues through the speakers placed between each car.  There was no centralized sound system.  This, I hope, was to avoid disturbance to the nearby buildings.

The movie started when it was dark.  Since we did not go in a car, we sat on the concrete seats.  Some people were sitting on the lawns of the garden.  There were two shows daily, one around 7 pm and the other around 10 pm.  I don’t remember which movie we watched on that day.  But watching a movie in a drive-in theatre was a great experience.  The characters appeared on the huge screen and their dialogues were heard through the speakers near our seats.  During the interval, people thronged the food court for a variety of snacks, tea, coffee, ice-cream etc. It was a totally different experience for me.

The drive-in theatre was about 2 kilometers from Vastrapur, where I was staying.  On many weekends, we went to drive-in.  Whenever I think of drive-in, the movie that comes to my mind is ‘Dil to Pagal Hai’.  We watched the Shah Rukh Khan starred blockbuster three times in drive-in.  The movie had many hit songs of those days, and it was really nice to watch them on the big screen.  The drive-in theatre of Ahmedabad claims to be the widest screen in Asia.  If you are in Ahmedabad, pull out some time to watch a movie at the drive-in.  I am sure you would love the experience.   At a time when movie viewing is redifined by Netflix and Amazon Prime, nothing can replace the feel of a drive-in theatre.  I am told there is a drive-in theatre in Bangalore too, but I haven’t visited. 

Unknown VIP

We all have missed bus, train or even flights at some point in time.  I too had a near similar experience.  A few years ago, I was flying from Thiruvananthapuram to Bengaluru.  It was an Indigo flight leaving Thiruvananthapuram at 5 in the evening.  I had taken the same flight a couple of times earlier.  On all those occasions I found that it was the only flight departing Thiruvananthapuram around that time.  Hence, the airport used to be relatively less crowded and there was hardly any queue for security check and check-in.  Keeping this in mind, that day I leisurely reached the airport around 4.15 pm.  Moreover, I only had a small handbag, which I could carry with me, and I had already done web-check-in.  So, I just had to get the security check done and proceed straight to the check-in counter.

But, to my surprise and shock I found the airport fully crowded and there was a long queue for security check.  I came to know that two Spicejet flights got delayed and boarding was going on for three flights simultaneously.  I stood at the end of the queue for the security check.  But, looking at the speed at which the queue was moving, I was sure that I would miss the flight.  I requested a CISF officer standing near me to permit me to join the queue in front as my flight was about to depart.  With a tough look he told me in Hindi, all these people are waiting to get onto their flights, so come in order.  I was getting anxious.  Suddenly I found an Indigo staff passing by.  I stopped him and explained my situation.  He said he would do something and walked away.  But he didn’t come back for a while. 

The clock was ticking away, and it was almost 4.45 – just 15-minutes left for the flight to take off.  Hoping against all hopes, I kept looking at the display board of departures, praying that my flight gets delayed by a couple of minutes.  But it continued to show, ‘On time’.  Suddenly, I heard a lady staff of Indigo announcing, ‘any passengers for the Benagluru Indigo flight please come in front’.  Immediately I rushed to her.  I was the only one.  She had already spoken to the CISF officers to get the security check done on a priority basis.  So, when I cleared my security check, she asked me to rush to the check-in gate, which was on the next floor.  I picked up my bag and ran fast up the stairs.  Panting, when I reached the gate, the lady at the counter told me, ‘Sorry sir.  The flight is ready for departure and the doors of the aircraft are closed’.  Through the aerobridge I could see the aircraft with its doors closed.  Missed it by a fraction of a second.  After a long pause, I asked her, ‘what do I do now?’.  She said, ‘Sir I will give you a note that you missed the flight.  Please go to our office on the ground floor.  They will try to accommodate you on the next Bengaluru flight, which is at 8 pm.’.  ‘Will there be seat available in that flight’, I asked.  ‘Mostly yes, but being a Sunday, I am not sure, anyway please check with the office’.

Suddenly, to my surprise, the staff standing at the other end of the aerobridge started waving to me asking me to come.  I didn’t know what was happening.  By then the lady at the counter also got a call asking her to send me in.  She opened the gate, and I started running towards the aircraft through the aerobridge.  As I was approaching the plane, I saw its door opening.  One passenger was deboarded from the plane.  Without bothering to know what was happening, I rushed onto the plane.  All passengers were looking at me as if I was a VIP who could delay the departure of a plane by a couple of minutes, get its doors opened and board.  Some appeared to be a bit angry that I delayed their flight.  I quietly went and occupied my seat.  I have no idea why that passenger was deboarded – maybe to make way for me!

Mekedatu

Recently when the Cauvery water dispute between Karnataka and Tamil Nadu came alive, many people felt that the proposed Mekedatu Dam project is the only solution for the water dispute between the two states.  I am neither getting into the details of the dispute, nor the dam project.  I just remembered a trip that I had with my students to Mekedatu, way back in 2001.  Mekedatu, located around 150 kilometers from Tumkur, is the place where river Arkavati confluences with Cauvery.  After merging, Cauvery flows through a small deep crevice, presenting a magnificent scenic beauty.  

I, along with about 30 students, started our journey to Mekedatu.  It takes a little above three hours to reach there.  On the way, we stopped somewhere for breakfast and continued the journey.  Everybody was in a joyous mood.  Around 10 in the morning we reached a point beyond which the buses were not allowed.  We had to trek the remaining distance to reach the top.  Initially it was fun to wade through the forest, listening to the sound of Cauvery flowing.  But, after a while we realised that it was a long trek.  None of us had been to Mekedatu before, so we had no idea about the distance (No Google Map those days!).  We kept walking and walking.  Finally, when we reached the top, though we were all tired, we were awed by the natural beauty.  We all sat there for a while.  We were all extremely hungry, but, except for the water bottles, we had not carried any food.  Slowly we started climbing down.

Now comes the second part of the story!  Suddenly a girl in our group fainted.  We gave water to her, but she was still not able to get up and walk.  Two boys lifted her and started walking.  We all panicked; we didn’t know what to do.  The boys were already tired and walking by lifting a girl was tedious.  After walking for about 20 minutes, we spotted a jeep parked in front of a house.  We knocked on the door.  A gentleman came out.  We requested him to drop us near our bus.  Luckly, he obliged.  We asked the bus driver to take us straight to a doctor in the nearby town.  The doctor examined the girl and said, ‘nothing to worry, she fainted due to dehydration and lack of food’.  It was already 3 in the afternoon.  We went straight to a nearby restaurant and ate to our heart’s content.  When we resumed the journey, that girl was the most active and those boys who had lifted her were still tired!

When the bus reached close to Tumkur, another vehicle suddenly came across, and our driver applied a sudden break.  We heard a loud cry from the rear side of the bus.  A girl, who was probably sleeping, had hurt her knee when it went and hit the seat in front of her as a result of the sudden break.  She was in terrible pain.  Her friends helped her and tried massaging her knee.  But that seemed to increase her pain.  She was not able to walk.  Since we had already reached Tumkur, we dropped her near the hostel along with her friends and asked them to take her immediately to a hospital.  She had suffered a minor fracture.

We had a sigh of relief when we reached home that the trip had finally come to an end.  What remained in our memory was not the pleasure of the trip, but these untoward incidents.  Some trips are like that - remembered for unintended consequences!

Bird Sanctuary

We were only 20 students in the ICWAI (Final) class at Kochi in 1995 – twelve boys and eight girls.  Since most of us were working, the classes were held in the evening from 6 to 8.  We were taught by senior managers and executives from various companies.  Since we all met only during the class hours, we didn’t have much opportunity for personal interactions.  Most of us used to reach the ICWAI centre just before the class started and would be in a hurry to catch the bus back home when the class ended.  We got time to chit-chat only when a teacher came late or on those rare occasions when a teacher didn’t come.  So, we decided to go on a one-day trip to Thattekkad, a bird sanctuary, situated around 60 kilometers from Kochi.

Thattekkad is a popular bird sanctuary inside a reserve forest in Kothamangalam thaluk.  On a Sunday, we set off to Thattekkad in a minibus.  It was a sunny day with a clear sky.  At the entrance, we were instructed not to make noise inside the sanctuary as that would disturb the birds.  We started walking into the sanctuary, which was full of tall trees covering the entire sky.  At some places, the sunlight was not touching the ground due to the wide and thick shades of the trees.  We didn’t have any tourist guide with us.  So, even though we spotted many birds, we could not identify them.  Anyway, there was full of silence and the only noise was that of the wind blowing through the trees, creaking of bamboos, chirping of birds etc.  Nature was at its best (Unfortunately, back then, we didn’t have cell phones with cameras).  After walking for a long time, we reached an open space and the girls in our group decided to sit there for a while.  Two boys also gave them company.  The rest of us continued to walk further into the forest.

At one point, we saw a warning sign that visitors were not allowed beyond that point, because of the presence of wild elephants.  However, there was no forest guard to stop us.  We were hesitant to go further, but our friend Vasu insisted that we go little further.  Vasu had already got selection as Sub-Inspector of Police and was waiting to join the training.  So, obviously he showed courage and led us into the forest.  We continued walking, though slowly and cautiously.  The forest was getting thicker.  After a while, the chirping of birds stopped and there was an eerie silence all over the place.  We reached near a lake and saw a muddy path leading to the lake.  We also saw the pug marks of elephants in the mud.  It was clear that elephants took that path to reach the lake.  We were scared to move any further.  But Vasu kept telling us, ‘Come on nothing will happen’. 

Suddenly we heard a loud noise on one side and saw the bushes shaking violently.  None of us had the guts to wait and watch what it was.  We all turned around and started running back.  While running, I turned around to see where Vasu was.  Some of my friends were running behind me, but Vasu was not among them.  For a while I thought whether Vasu stayed back foolishly to exhibit his valour.  But in no time, I spotted him.  Those friends who were the first to turn around and run were in front of me – and the first among them was Vasu! We stopped only when we reached the place where our other friends were resting.  Everyone started pulling the leg of Vasu.  He said, ‘when one’s own life is at threat, even a policeman would flee’.  While returning, we asked the forest guard at the entrance, ‘do you really spot elephants in that area?’.  He said, ‘yes, quite often’.

Lemon Juice

Lemon juice, especially with sugar and a pinch of salt mixed with cold soda, was one of my favourites during my college days.  In fact, there was not a single day on which I had not tasted the same in a nearby shop.  But over the years my liking for lemon juice came down.  Today I don’t relish it as much as I used to during my college days.

In 1996 when I moved to Ahmedabad, on my first day my roommates took me out for dinner.  Growing up in a small city, in a middle-class family, I didn’t have any experience of dining in big restaurants.  All my restaurant visits prior to this were to small ones where we had south Indian varieties like ‘masala dosa’, ‘idli-vada’ etc.  But the dinner that my roommates hosted was in Hotel Topaz, a reasonably big north Indian restaurant near IIM.  There were many ‘firsts’ during this occasion – first dinner with my roommates, first dinner in a big restaurant, a north Indian meal for the first time, tasting ‘tandoori roti’ for the first time and so on.  At the end, a small bowl of water with a piece of lemon was kept in front of us.  I was wondering if I was supposed to squeeze the lemon and drink.  But I didn’t understand why the water was lukewarm.  Luckily, before I could squeeze the lemon and drink, my roommates started using it and I got to know it!

In 1998 I moved to Tumkur.  Within a few days of my joining SIT, my cousin Anil came to Bangalore on an official visit.  I went to Bangalore to meet him.  That day he had an appointment with a senior manager of a company.  Though I was reluctant to join him, he insisted that I accompany him.  He said, ‘we are not discussing anything confidential and the person I am meeting is a senior gentleman who is a very nice person’. I agreed.  The meeting was in a club.  After the initial chit-chat when they both got into business discussion, I started flipping through a magazine kept there.  In between, our guest asked, ‘shall we order something?’ Turning to me he asked, ‘shall I order something hot for you?’. I said yes.  Shocked, Anil turned towards me and whispered, ‘Do you know what he meant by hot?’, I said, ‘Yes, coffee or tea’.  Listening to this, with a smile on his face, our host told me, ‘Sorry, I don’t think they offer coffee or tea here’.  Finally, I ended up ordering lemon juice!’’

A few years later a senior executive from a company came to my institute as visiting faculty.  My director asked me to accompany him for dinner.  When I reached the guest house, he told me, ‘First let us have a drink, then we will go for dinner.  Which is the best bar in Tumkur?’.  I said, ‘I have no idea’.  He said, ‘No problem, let us find out’.  Thus, a teetotaler, who had no idea about bars in Tumkur, along with a person who had no idea about anything in Tumkur set off in search of a good bar!  After passing through a couple of them, when we reached in front of a particular bar, my guest felt that it was decent enough for his standards.  So, we went in.  He started going through the menu.  For a while, I felt as if the guest was hosting the host.  He ordered something of his choice, and I had to settle down with – yes, you guessed it right – the lemon juice!

 

 

Wasp Empire

A few months ago, I noticed a small nest on the window of my house.  It was very small, and I didn’t know whose nest it was.  As time passed, the nest started growing and I realised that it was the nest of wasps.  I was really fascinated by the way they were constructing the nest.  I kept observing the process every day.  It was small, and it had only a few wasps.  Since it was built on a window on one covered part of the building where nobody disturbed them, I decided to leave it there.

But, within days I could see phenomenal growth in its size and the number of wasps multiplied exponentially.  I kept observing their movements.  I could see hundreds of them always moving in and out of the nest.  The wasps were very active during the daytime.  Most of them would fly out and return back soon to the nest.  Though they were very active during the daytime, they all crammed into the nest by evening.  They rarely came out in the night and the nest looked as if there were no wasps inside, while hundreds of them were actually there! 

Shortly, the nest became huge, and I started worrying about the risk of the nest being disturbed by someone resulting in dangerous consequences.  Though wasp sting is not poisonous, when hundreds of them attack, it can be fatal.  But I kept thinking, when we don’t bother them, why would they attack us?

One day I left my home to go to the office after lunch.  When I sat on my office chair I felt as if someone gave me an injection in my leg.  I jumped out of the chair.  Yes, it was a wasp! It was probably sitting on my chappal which I had left outside my house.  When I wore the chappal, it would have climbed on to my leg.  It was very painful.  Now that the wasps had breached the trust, I decided that I must get that nest removed from my house. 

To my surprise and shock, nobody was available in Tumkur for removing wasp nests.  I started getting panicky.  I was also worried about my neighbours who were at risk.  From the internet, I located an agency at Bangalore, specializing in pest control, including removal of wasp nests.  When I contacted them, they told me that they do not provide service outside Bangalore.  But they gave me the number of another person.  This guy was also from Bangalore but was willing to come to Tumkur and do the job.  However, he demanded a very high fee for the service.  When I asked him how he was planning to remove the nest, he was not willing to disclose.  Somehow, I was not convinced about this guy, especially because, if he made any mistake while removing the nest, all wasps would come out and attack people nearby. 

Meanwhile, I also did a lot of research on wasps by surfing the internet.  I learnt about their behaviour, life span, making the nest etc.  I also read that the wasps usually leave the nest after a few months, especially during winter and once abandoned they never come back to a nest.  During winter they won’t get food and would die due to starvation.  By then, the winter was starting, and I could see a few of them falling dead near the nest.  One day a friend of mine told me that wasps had made a huge nest near his house too and the same was abandoned after a few months.  So, I kept observing the nest every day.  As days went by, I found more and more falling dead.  Slowly the nest was completely empty.

Today the nest remains there as a monument of a onetime ‘Wasp Empire’!

Non-Veg – Non = Veg

I remember reading an article many years ago, which stated that most of the vegetarians are actually not vegetarians.  A vegetarian is a person who consumes no animal products, including milk.  Going by this definition, most of our traditional vegetarians, who consume milk and other dairy products will fail to qualify as vegetarians.  The article further stated that there are four categories of people.  First is the pure vegetarians (who are very less in number).  Second is the vast majority of the so-called ‘vegetarians’, who consume milk and milk products, who are actually lacto-vegans.  The third category is lacto-ovo-vegans, who consume milk products and eggs, but no fish and meat.  And the last category is non-vegetarians.  I belong to a lacto-vegan family.  But my father and I were lacto-ovo-vegans.  

When I was in college, one of my classmates got married.  Her marriage was in a Church in her village, about 20 kilometers from Kochi.  A group of us travelled to her village for the wedding.  It was a small village and we had to walk almost a kilometer from the bus station, climbing a small hillock, on top of which the church was located.  Enjoying the natural beauty, we climbed the hill.  We noticed that there were no shops or establishments anywhere nearby.  Some of us were already feeling hungry.  When all the rituals of the wedding were over, we rushed to the dining hall and occupied the seats.  When they started serving lunch, I realised that they only had one item – chicken biriyani.  I was the only lacto-vegan in the group.  All others were non-vegetarians.  Hearing us discussing my problem, the bride’s brother told us that he would go to the kitchen and see if he could get any vegetarian food for me.  After a while, he returned with disappointment saying nothing was available in the kitchen except the biriyani.  He was very apologetic too.

I was extremely hungry.  If I had decided not to eat, I would starve, because there were no restaurants nearby.  One of my friends suggested a way out.  He said, ‘I will get a plate of biriyani for you and carefully remove all chicken pieces from the biriyani.  You can eat the remaining, if you don’t mind’.  Though I was a lacto-vegan, since I always had many friends who were non-vegetarians, I didn’t have any aversion towards non-vegetarian food.  So, I agreed.  Thus, I ate ‘chicken-less chicken biriyani’ that day.

A new formula was invented: ‘Non-Veg – Non = Veg!’

Three Train Tales

It was early 2000. I used to travel frequently between Bangalore and Kochi by train.  One day I boarded Kanyakumari Express from Bangalore city station and occupied my seat in a reserved compartment.  My seat number was 42.  The train pulled out at 8 pm.  The next station was Bangalore Cantonment.  A middle-aged passenger boarded the train at Cant., came straight to my seat and said, ‘this is my seat’.  I was a bit annoyed by the way he spoke to me.  I said, ‘this is my seat’.  He said, ‘show me your ticket’. I said, ‘why should I show you my ticket, I am sure this is my seat.  You better check your ticket’.  He was in a fighting mood, as if I had wrongly occupied his seat.  Finally, he pulled out his ticket, looked at it and said, ‘look, 42 is my seat’.  I looked at his ticket.  The railway reservation tickets usually have the seat number, sex and age of the passenger printed on it.  Pointing to his ticket, I told him, ‘see, 42 is your age, your seat number is something else’!  He didn’t know how to face me.  Realising his folly, he said sorry and moved on.

The second incident took place a few years earlier to this, when I was at Ahmedabad.  Venkataraman, my roommate, was travelling from Ahmedabad to Chennai by an early morning train.  I saw him off at around 5 am and went back to sleep.  After some time, I heard someone knocking on the door – it was Venkataraman. I asked him, ‘what happened, you missed the train?’.  He said, ‘no, something strange happened. When I reached the railway station, the train was already on the platform.  But when I got into the compartment, I saw another passenger with his family in my allotted seat.  I told him, this is my seat.  He said, no this is my seat.  He showed his ticket, yes, he was right.  I took out my ticket.  I was surprised, how could railways allot the same seat to two passengers.  Suddenly, he asked me, are you supposed to travel by today’s train.  I said, yes.  He continued, oh, this is the train that was supposed to depart yesterday.  Due to a derailment somewhere enroute, all trains are running late and this one is running 24 hours late.  Your train has not yet arrived at Ahmedabad.  Then I checked the dates on our tickets.  Surprised, I got down and went to the enquiry counter, they said today’s train is expected to depart at around 1 pm.  So, I came back.

The third incident happened when I was in college.  My uncle and family were travelling to Bombay from Kollam in Kerala by Jayanti Janata Express.  Jayanti Janata Express ran between Kanyakumari and Bombay.  When they were about to leave their home, he made a phone call to the railway enquiry number and asked, ‘is Jayanti Janata on time?’ ‘No Sir, it is running 60 minutes late’.  Relaxed, they went a little later to the station.  When they reached the station, they were told that Jayanti Janata was on time and the train had already left Kollam.  Then he came to know that the Bombay-Kanyakumari down train was running 60 minutes late.  Since both the up and down trains crossed Kollam almost at the same time, there was this confusion.  They didn’t know what to do.  Jayanti Janata was the only train connecting Kollam and Bombay back then and to get another ticket they had to wait for more than a month.  The station master suggested, if they could drive fast by road and head straight to Ernakulam, where the train stopped for 20 minutes, they had a bleak chance of catching the train.  He told them not to try in any other station in between because in all those stations the halt was just 1-2 minutes.  Ernakulam was 150 kilometers away.  Somehow my uncle showed courage.  He took his brother’s car and drove straight to Ernakulam.  Since I was at Kochi (Ernakulam), his brother called me and asked me to go to Ernakulam railway station, so that I could help them board the train, in case they reached at the neck of the moment.  When I reached the station, I could hear the announcement of the train’s arrival.  Their car had not yet reached (remember, no cell phones those days).  Shortly, I saw the train arriving on the platform.  Holding my breath, I waited there.  Suddenly I could see their speeding car in the distance.  As soon as the car stopped at the portico, we swung into action, picked up their luggage and ran towards the train.  As they stepped in, we heard the whistle and the train started moving! All of us had a sigh of relief.

 

 

Investment Scam – DIY (Do It Yourself)!

Hey, if you are wondering which is the most profitable business, I can tell you without any doubt, it is Investment Scam.  Yes, you heard it right.  Nothing can be as profitable as ‘cheating people’! So, if you want to try, here are some useful tips.  

• Start a Finance Company and give it a catchy name.  Set up a fancy office (take it on lease or rent, but pretend it to be the company’s own)

• Start an investment scheme offering exorbitantly high rate of interest (for example, 4% per month, which amounts to 48% per annum)

• Create as much publicity as possible.  Create an image as if you have a variety of businesses and you are stingy rich.  This will instill a lot of confidence in the investors, because they would believe that even if the investment scheme does not work, you have enough assets to repay their money.  The more flamboyant your life is, more is the confidence the investors have in you!  Appear in media and give sermons. Always promise to protect your deposit holders at any cost.

• Now the money game starts.  To begin with, assume 10 people invest Rs.1 lakh each for three years in your scheme.  You have Rs.10 lakhs in your pocket.  Pay 4% (Rs.40,000) towards interest in the first month.  Continue to pay the interest every month promptly for few more months.  

• As the saying goes, ‘the proof of pudding is in eating’, when you pay the interest promptly, the investors’ confidence will skyrocket.  Now, they will become your brand ambassadors and bring more investors to you.

• In one year, even if you get only Rs.10 lakhs as deposit, the money required to pay interest is Rs.4.80 lakhs.  The remaining Rs.5.20 lakhs are all yours!  Imagine what happens when more money flows in.  In fact, what you are doing is just rotating the money – collect from A and pay B, collect from B to pay C, collect from D to pay C and so on.  Your success depends on how efficiently you manage this flow.

• At the end of three years, when the deposit made by the first set of investors becomes due, if you are lucky, you would have collected enough money from others to repay them.  But this cannot go on for long.  So, you need to envisage a day when your scheme bursts.  When the scheme is running, it is better to keep an escape plan ready.  When it bursts, abscond.  If you are lucky, you can avoid the police. Otherwise, be ready to spend a few days in jail, till you get bail.  Anyway, the case will go on for a long time, the public and media will forget your case, and the investors will be fed up fighting.  You can live on!

What is your investment in this business? Almost nothing.  The returns are very high.  Yes, as they teach you in Finance, you need to take risks, rather high risk!

(The above write up is satirical, but unfortunately, this is the modus operandi of most of the scamsters.  No, I don’t have the experience of running such a scheme.  But I have been reading about investment scams since my college days. If you think only uneducated people get trapped by the scamsters, you are wrong.  Everyone is attracted towards high rate of returns promised by them, because ‘greed’ has no color, sex, religion, or class – all are greedy!  So, people forget one simple Economic principle that if someone offers 48% interest per annum, he/she should be able to invest the money somewhere else and generate more than 48% to sustain the scheme.  Common sense is enough to realise that it is not possible to generate such rates of returns consistently from any business.  So, next time you come across any scheme that offers rates of returns far above the rates prevalent in the economy, just ignore them or be prepared to lose your hard-earned money)

Recipe for Growth

Recently I read an article written by Prof. Ajit Ranade in India Today.  An alumnus of IIMA, he writes about why IIMA has always attracted the best students in the country and remained at the forefront of management education.  One sentence by him caught my attention, ‘many gold medalists got their egos deflated in the very first term’.  Having been part of IIMA for two years, I could very well relate to this.  I remembered another instance.  Few years ago I met the Director of a B-School at Bengaluru, who was also an alumnus of IIMA.  She told me, ‘I was a rank holder in my school. I got first rank in my pre-degree and again a first rank in my B.Sc. Mathematics from Bangalore University.  I was considered an extraordinary scholar in my family and friends’ circle.  With this aura of superiority, I landed at IIMA.  Within no time, I realized that everyone else was more intelligent than me and nobody cared about my ranks’.  

So, what happens when we are surrounded by people who are more intelligent and knowledgeable than us?  Before answering that question, let me touch up on two more instances.  Prof. Ravi J Mathai, the first full-time director of IIMA, was not even a postgraduate.  But what he did at IIMA was to create a team of academicians, where almost everyone was more qualified than him and led the institute to greater heights.  Prof. P V Indiresan, the ex-Director of IIT Madras, spoke about his contributions to IIT at a function organised to confer the IEEE Fellowship on him.  He said, ‘the best thing I did for IIT is to induce a number of outstanding persons to give up lucrative careers elsewhere to join in the struggle for life here in IIT. That is my pride: I persuaded a number of minds greater than mine to join IIT’. 

There lies the answer to my question.  When we are surrounded by people who are slightly less in caliber and intellect, we would definitely feel a sense of superiority.  But that feeling is of no use.  It doesn’t allow us to push beyond the comfort zone, to scale greater heights and grow.  But when we are in the company of people better than us in terms of knowledge, intellect, and skills, we will be motivated to work harder and grow.  But, we need to carefully keep away jealousy.  It is very much possible to find people younger than us and coming from lesser backgrounds to be more knowledgeable than us.  We need to humbly accept the truth and go hand in hand with them. 

Even our ancient wisdom advocates ‘Satsang’, being in the company of good (better) people.  So, one of the recipes for growth is – Surround yourself with people who are better than you!